The cause and the cure of corvette fever

The victim’s symptoms are easily recognizable: increased rate of respiration, a far-off look in the eyes, incessant sharp shifting motions with the right hand accompanied by unconscious “ro-o-O-O-O-O-M-P” noises in the throat, an ineffable smile and frequent ejaculations of “Oh, man!”

            These symptoms occur almost immediately after initial exposure to a Corvette on the open road. Expert diagnosticians believe the combination of razor-sharp steering and fantastic roadability, plus the tremendous elation provided by the Corvette V8 engine, produces a profound emotional change in individuals unaccustomed to a car that handles like quicksilver-on-wheels.

            Unfortunately, there is no real cure; even though the paitent is carefully kept from further exposure, he tends to relieve his experience, to recall the initial excitement of a genuine sports car, the pulse-stirring precision of control.  The only practical solution is to provide him with a Corvette for daily use.  True, he isn’t cured--but, boy is he happy!